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Essay #1-revised into final draftRunning head: WHAT I WISH MY TEACHERS KNEW ABOUT ME
What I wish My Teacher Knew about me
Institution affiliation
What I Wish My Teachers Knew About Me
Many times in life, people may judge us for what we are not or assume what we are yet,
they do not know what is going on with us or for that matter, know about us. I have been through
some rough time and terrible things I have had to contend with if my teacher knew about; then,
life would be somewhat bearable. I have been struggling in school and classes because of the
many unfortunate things that surround my rather horrible life. I just wish that my teacher knew
about how dealing with depression, a lack of motivation, and failing to sleep well at night has
taken a toll on me.
If only my teachers knew that I have to deal with depression each day; they would give
me a benefit of doubt. I have struggled with depression because of a series of family squabbles
that have caused my parents to separate, and to live at me the mercies of depression. Nothing
would hurt as much in life than to be told that you are not worth living as my parents would often
tell me without knowing that it’s their fighting drained almost every vein of my blood. Life has
been so hard that at times have been compelled to question why a caring God allows these to
happen to an innocent person like me. Unfortunately, my teachers should have attempted to
about me other than think or assume I am just like every normal young person.
Consequently, how I wish that my teachers would know that I lack motivation. For most
children (normal children in a normal family), parents serve as the best motivators, even when
children err in what it is that they do. A child builds confidence because they are encouraged to
keep trying however how many times they fail. For this reason, I would have expected my
parents to do such nice things to me. However, I have been reprimanded for almost everything I
have done, despite whether I am right or wrong. I have never had the opportunity to be motivated
by my parents. The little motivation I may have had at once was my own making. Fortunately, I
knew being in school would make things better for me, but my teachers never knew I have
“motivation deficiency”. I wish they knew I lack motivation because to a larger extent my
prosperity in school depends on it.
Furthermore, sleeping well at night for me is foreign. Not that I do not try, but I hardly do
sleep even when I try. Most of the time when I close my eyes, I see and hear my parents shout at
me or fight each other. All the unkind words they told each other and me occupies half of my
brain. The other half is occupied by the cold treatments I get from my teachers who should be to
me like the nice parents I never had. Should have my teachers known about my lack of sleeping
well; my grades would not have sunk to the lowest point. I wish I can sleep and that my teachers
can know that I never sleep enough, which affects my learning at school.
In conclusion, nothing seems what it is because behind my smiling face; lies depression,
lack of motivation, and failure to sleep. My teachers should have known these horrible things
about me, and they could have been like parents I never had to nurture, motivate, talk to,
encourage, and help me deal with depression. Therefore, as they say, the cover of the book may
be appealing but what lies inside me is like a fierce furnace eating me inside out.
ENGL 1A, Spring 2020: Essay #1, “What I Wish My Teachers Knew About Me”
“To many of my teachers, I was simply a 52% on a grade sheet rather than a
person with thoughts, feelings, and problems of my own.
-Emma Monarrez, ENGL 1A Student
Overview: Often times, as students, we feel “invisible” in the classroom. Perhaps we
feel that our teachers do not see us or care to know what reality exists behind the
face they see in the classroom. Through this writing exercise, students will explore
their own personal history not just to connect with their teachers and peers, but
more importantly, as a means of self-exploration.
Ontgina higher level
Essay #1 Purpose: To compose a college level essay that explores 3-4 personal past,
topics/ideas that you “wish your teachers knew about you.” As part of your thesis, Posent
these 3-4 choices need to reflect a specific theme/message about your sense of self.
There is no right way or one way to explore this topic. Make your essay, your essay.
So ea
Deadlines: dates for the prewriting charts, rough draft [**missing peer review workshop will result in a 10%
reduction of your final draft grade), revised draft, and the final draft are listed on the course schedule.
Required Format: Essays must be typed, at least two full pages in length, and follow MLA guidelines for
formatting the paper: double-spaced, with 1” margins, and 12 point, Times New Roman font.
Structure and Content Checklist:
includes a catchy title that hooks the reader’s interest
includes an engaging introduction that successfully guides the reader to the thesis
includes a clear, concise thesis statement that clearly address the prompt
each body paragraph includes a clear topic sentence that supports the thesis; one topic per paragraph
includes relevant personal evidence to support the paragraph’s main idea
includes honest, personal reflection about chosen evidence
includes a strong, forceful conclusion that leaves the reader with something to think about
reflects organization of thoughts with the reader, an academic audience of your peers, in mind
essay contains a consistent voice that reflects the thesis statement
no outside research, evidence is based solely on your personal history
essay reflects a mature & effective style [sentence patterns, college-level diction, transitions, etc.)
development of ideas to 5+ paragraphs
follows the conventions of written English (i.e., free of repetitive grammatical errors]
written in first person point of view (no 2nd person references-you, your, us, etc.)
mandatory conference/meeting with me OR with a tutor in the Success Center OR with your
classroom PAL at some point in your writing process
suffer from sleep
deprivation due to
My night terrors
I can’t concentrate
when I haven’t slept
and my marks are
Final Thoughts: Believe in yourself and do not procrastinate. Use your journals,
class notes, active reading responses, SQCD cards, etc. to find a direction for your
essay that YOU want to explore. Please come and see me or meet with a tutor or
visit with your PAL to talk about the writing process and/or receive additional
feedback on your writing. This essay is worth 10% of your semester grade,
so give it your best effort.
slipping and that
gives me anxiety
Please go easy..
Robert C. Nazar, Chaffey College

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